rejoice, rejoice.

i finally got the answer for question 3d), 3f), 4b), 4c), from the integration tutorial. after 3 days? after redoing each question for maybe the twenty times each? and getting a different, wrong answer each time? while people with normal IQ can probably solve each sum in about 3min.

same goes for most math questions, of all topics, since the start of the year. i think i'm starting to question whether i'm retarded or not.

and then i see the abundance of As and Bs people in my class are getting.

dejected.

cant wait to do the rest of the tutorial. and to continue deluding myself that it's only a matter of how much effort i'm willing to put in to get to somewhere near their level.

which seems so far, when promos seem so near.

off to bed i go, before i spill everything, before i end up sounding overly emo, when i didnt mean to type such an entry in the first place. there's PT tomorrow. and my thigh muscles still hurt from lunges on tuesday. funny how i can still look forward to running, running, running till my legs and lungs give out.